Memories
by no cure for crazy
Summary: Sometimes, dealing with the old memories are hard but in time, they'll get through it. They've gotten through worse.


AN: So I'm not at all sure what this is or even what I wanted this to be in the first place. It was written between two and three in the morning like most of my writing is. But I just really wanted to write a friendship type fic between Christina and Four post Allegiant, so here it is. Whatever it is.

And it also took me this long to get over the shock that I had at the end of Allegiant until I was finally able to sit down and write something, but anyway, better late than never, I guess. I'm not else sure what I can say about this.

I will also say that it is probably not a good idea to read this if you haven't finished Allegiant unless you don't care about spoilers or already have been spoiled.

Disclaimer: I am not Veronica Roth so I don't own Allegiant. But if I did, I don't think I would have done things any different than she did.

* * *

Memoires

It was a nice day for a walk and she needed to clear her head, which was what prompted her to leave her apartment. She shared a small smile with Zeke when she passed him on her way towards the ground floor. She pushed open the main door and stepped onto the sidewalk.

It was mid afternoon, the sun was high in the sky and there was a cool breeze blowing a few strands of her short, dark hair into her face. She reached up to tuck the strands behind her ear before settling on a direction to walk.

She didn't really care where she would end up; she just needed to get away from the tall, hundred story building for a while. She enjoyed staying there near Zeke and Shauna, but sometimes the memories would become too much and she needed to get away for a while.

A walk is the perfect thing to clear her head.

Most days, she usually ended up near the river and today was one of them. The sounds of the river always soothed her and relaxed her – unlike the rushing river below the chasm in the Dauntless compound which she grew to hate because of Eric.

She shuddered at the memory when he made her hang over the side of the chasm. She wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she was afraid that she was going to slip and fall into the churning waters. Since that day, she'd hated it.

But something about the river was…different.

A slight movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she slowly turned her head to her right. Standing further down the river was the silhouette of a man, staring up at the Hancock building in the distance, lost in thought.

She cocked her head to the side as she realized who it was and she couldn't help but wonder if or when he'd break down again. It'd happened before, but luckily she followed him and caught him before he did something stupid.

_Hopefully there won't be a second time, _she thought as she found herself walking closer to where he stood.

And if there was a second time, she'd be there to stop him again.

That's another reason why she usually ended up near the river. His apartment wasn't that far from the river and she'd be lying if she claimed that she wasn't checking up on him. She doesn't want him to snap again and use the memory; since that's the coward's way out and Four is a lot of things, but he's not a coward.

_She_ wouldn't want him using the serum either. Trying to force himself to forget _her_ would be a disgrace to Tris' memory and of course, Christina would never allow him to do that.

"Are you going to stand there long?" he asked without moving his gaze from the tall building.

Christina pulled herself out of her thoughts to realize that he was talking to her. She shrugged her shoulders as she glanced at him. "I don't know. It's a nice day to be outside," she stated as if it was the most obvious thing there was.

Sometimes her old Candor faction habits are hard to break.

"Okay, smartass," he replied.

A small smile played on her lips. It was similar to a reaction he would have given; although he was still far from the old instructor Four she knew back in the Dauntless compound. She knew that he probably had a long way to go before he would be back to his old self.

She found herself walking forward the last few feet to stand beside him and she let her gaze fall on the Hancock building as well; the building that had recently become her home.

Old memories of Tris, Uriah, Will and even Al come flooding back to her and she can't help but remember the day they had spread Tris' ashes.

That was the day where she had felt free and she got an urge to go zip-lining again.

_Maybe one day. _

"That was a nice thing you did," she eventually said to break the silence that had washed over them.

Four pulled his gaze away from the Hancock building long enough to shoot a glance in her direction. He opened his mouth to question her, but she continued talking.

"Facing your fear to honor her," she added, without looking at him "It was a nice thing to do and I think she would have liked it."

Four slowly nodded, trying to find the words to say. "It was hard…at first, to talk myself into actually getting in the harness, let alone actually get to the top of the building. But I figured she would have wanted me to try it, at least once."

Christina turned her head to look at him. "She's not gone, not really…She'll always be in your heart and there's always going to be something that will make you remember her."

_Just like with me and Will,_ she added to herself.

Four took a deep breath. "I never properly thanked you…for stopping me that night, from erasing her from my mind. I've realized that you were right, everything you said was true…I shouldn't try to forget her like she didn't mean anything to me, when she meant everything to me."

She nodded. She knew what he was talking about. Even though she didn't know Will a lot, he changed her and he did mean something to her. Just like Tris changed Four and meant everything to him. In that way, they were similar.

Christina tilted her head, her dark brown eyes questioning him. "So you're not going to snap again? Because if you're thinking about using the memory serum, you better not."

"I don't think there's any more memory serum out there," Four told her. "But even if there was, I don't think I would…Besides, I'm sure you'd be there to stop me again."

"I'm watching you, Four," she said with a small smirk.

"I'm sure you are," he replied. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."


End file.
